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Anyway, if you needed somethin...

Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

Tomorrow is your future's yest...

Tomorrow is your future's yesterday.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

Is it really that important? I...

Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

Sometimes, in order to follow ...

Sometimes, in order to follow one's heart, one must do the wrong thing. Now, I'm not absolving anyone of their actions; you have to be responsible for your actions, sick or well, you have to be, you just have to be. All of us are accountable.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

Here's a tip for all you aspir...

Here's a tip for all you aspiring young comics: Don't beat up the customers. It is very difficult to get laughs from an audience when you've actually drawn blood from one of their number. It kills the mood.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

I was 15 years old when I was ...

I was 15 years old when I was in this band; we were called Stag. We used to wear spandex pants and no underwear - we looked like marbles smugglers.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

My father had a very unusual p...

My father had a very unusual psychic ability, he could detect water. It's called divining. He would use a Y-shaped U-branch, and he could find water with that, which is a very impressive skill in a country where it rains 365 days of the year.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

Occasionally, when I lived in ...

Occasionally, when I lived in London, I would have sex with a girl from an aristocratic family. I always enjoyed doing to them what their ancestors did to my country.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

I don't want to be poor. I don...

I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

I would prefer as a viewer to ...

I would prefer as a viewer to watch the mistakes. I am my own blooper reel, as it happens.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

So far rich people have been v...

So far rich people have been very quiet about the possibility of getting taxes raised on them, but that doesn't mean they won't get mad about it, it just means they don't know about it. Because it takes a while for bad news to reach a rich person. First their accountant has to tell the butler, who has to tell the servant, who wouldn't dare interrupt their game of croquet.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

They've found a link between c...

They've found a link between chemicals in shampoo and obesity. If you're eating shampoo, your weight is the least of your concerns.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

Here in California, we passed ...

Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

I'm hooked on email. That's ri...

I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

According to a new study, our ...

According to a new study, our email is not as safe as we thought. How do they know this? They've been reading my email.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

I don't know much about the Su...

I don't know much about the Supreme Court. If it's anything like the Supreme Taco, it's like a regular court, but with extra sour cream.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

The difference between a broad...

The difference between a broadcaster and a host is that a host tells stories and dumb jokes, but a broadcaster can articulate deeper like, you know - things and stuff.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

In Los Angeles on Black Friday...

In Los Angeles on Black Friday, a woman pepper sprayed Wal-Mart shoppers who tried to cut in line. The police acted fast by immediately hiring her to get rid of peaceful protesters outside banking institutions all across the United States.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

From 1934 to 1963, the biggest...

From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

Now that healthcare is guarant...

Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes.

Craig Ferguson 394 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....