I am just at that stage of wondering where I go from here. I came into this business almost by accident, but now it has become serious. What started as a bit of fun, something to do other than be a model, has taken on a different career curve. I have been forced to ask where that curve is going to end up.
I love the feeling that you get when you can really laugh with a man and be natural and not always think that there's a sexual element going on. For me, flirting with a man means making fun of myself and trying to open myself and be very unpretentious.
I love physical kinds of comedy and getting down and dirty and doing stunts. When I was growing up, I was always getting into fights with guys and usually punching out boys my age because I was a lot bigger and tougher. So I'm naturally accustomed to putting myself into the headspace of a girl who can take care of herself.
Sexuality and love can be different things. I can be attracted to a woman sexually, but it doesn't mean I want to be in love with a woman. If I'm going to be with a woman sexually, it doesn't mean I'm a lesbian. We put these restraints and definitions on people, but it's hard to define.
I don't say that I won't do nudity for other people's benefit. It has nothing to do with other people's, it's just what I'm comfortable with. I can't say this enough, I'm totally comfortable with my body. I like my body, I don't think it's a bad thing, I think I have a nice body, I'm happy with it.
There's no such thing as turning back the hands of time, and it makes me crazy that we live in a society where that's sold to women—that we're supposed to believe that if we're getting older, we've failed somehow, that we have failed by not staying young. I wish that women would let other women age gracefully and allow them to get older and know that as we get older, we become wiser.
The last couple of years were hell. Like, I can't even tell you, it was so hard. I didn't know how to handle it. But I think I'm in a much better place now, because I stepped away for a second and took a breath. Hollywood is a funny place. It offers so much, but it can also take a lot away from you.
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