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I'm so old they've cancelled ...

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

My next door neighbor just ha...

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

I don't do a lot of political...

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

The older you get, the toughe...

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

I've got to watch myself thes...

I've got to watch myself these days. It's too exciting watching anyone else.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

Eisenhower admitted that the ...

Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

My father told me all about t...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

Following his doctor's orders...

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

Welcome to the Academy Awards...

Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

Middle age is when you still ...

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

As the colonel and I sat swap...

As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete."

Bob Hope 282 quotes

Some people put us down. But ...

Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

Bob Hope 282 quotes

Golf's really fun in Japan be...

Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

I have the perfect simplified...

I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?

Bob Hope 282 quotes

I can still chase women, only...

I can still chase women, only downhill

Bob Hope 282 quotes

With today's movies, if we to...

With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

If I have to lay an egg for m...

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

The good news is that Jesus i...

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

She said she was approaching ...

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

Bob Hope 282 quotes

A sense of humor is good for ...

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

Bob Hope 282 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

83

Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

541

Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

165

Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....