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I decided to stop drinking whi...

I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

For me, it's about the desire ...

For me, it's about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

The desire to be a politician ...

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

All anyone really needs to kno...

All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

What always staggers me is tha...

What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

Who discovered we could get mi...

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

I hate all those weathermen, t...

I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

I don't know why I should have...

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

I'm actually pale blue: it tak...

I'm actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

Behind the proscenium arch, yo...

Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

Did your mother never tell you...

Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

What is it with McDonald's sta...

What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you f**cking McTosser!

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

Don't die until you're dead....

Don't die until you're dead.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

I once travelled to Adelaide o...

I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can't fly

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

Don't vote, it only encourages...

Don't vote, it only encourages them.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

The human race has been set up...

The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

Paddy was in the delivery room...

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. 'Is this yours?' she asked 'probably' said Paddy 'she burns everything else'

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

Honestly some folk will take o...

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was 'How are you getting on?'

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

Sex therapist claims that the ...

Sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally, I think its bollocks!!

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

A fart is just your arse appla...

A fart is just your arse applauding.

Billy Connolly 168 quotes

Добрые, щедрые, великодушные: 6 советских актеров, которые были всеобщими любимчиками

23

Советских актёров часто ставят в пример как образец духовной силы, национальной гордости и внутренней красоты. Они стали символами эпохи, носителями культуры и нравственности. Но, как известно, за кул...

Десять кинозвезд, которые отлично поют

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Актеры — люди творческие, но кто бы мог подумать, что некоторые из них скрывают прекрасный голос. В эпоху раннего Голливуда актеров с музыкальными способностями было немало — это считалось скорее норм...

Мэрилин Монро, Ким Кардашьян и другие

115

Неузнаваемая Ким Кардашьян в объективе фотографа Маркуса Клинко, 2009 год. Памела Андерсон в самой первой съёмке для журнала «Playboy», 1990. На фото голливудская актриса Dorothy Lamour и шимпанзе Джи...

Что стало с детьми-звездами: Рэдклифф и компания спустя годы

219

Расскажем, как сложилась судьба актеров, которые начинали сниматься еще в детстве.
Остаться на вершине в Голливуде удаётся не каждому, особенно если путь начался в детстве. Одни актёры теряются из-за...

Жизнь за границей: как изменились судьбы 7 уехавших телеведущих

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Два года назад отечественное телевидение столкнулось с беспрецедентной кадровой тектоникой — целая группа ярких и узнаваемых ведущих стремительно исчезла с экранов федеральных каналов. Эти лица долгие...

Кира Найтли, Деми Мур и другие

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Кира Найтли на страницах журнала к выходу фильма «Пиджак», 2005. Следы динозавра, раскопанные в русле реки Палакси. Техас. США. 1952г. Самая большая женщина рядом с самым маленьким мужчиной, 1922 год....