Hayley: Oh my God. Dad, why is Hilary Duff in our house? Stan: Hilary is here of her own free will because she wants to have dinner with Steve. Steve: Hilary, could you pass the salt? Stan: (Holding gun to her head) Pass him the salt.
American Head Charge
151 quotes
Hayley: (To Stan) You know, St...
Hayley: (To Stan) You know, Steve's dog would still be alive if you right-wing lunatics would agree to gun control. Stan: You know what I have to say to that? (Pause) Ah, I thought I was gonna fart.
American Head Charge
151 quotes
By the way, Haley, oh my God, ...
By the way, Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, these Chocodiles Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, oh my God! -Roger
American Head Charge
151 quotes
Principal Lewis: Smith! What's...
Principal Lewis: Smith! What's the meaning of this?! Steve: Principal Lewis, I am taking your office. Pursuant to Pearl Bailey High Statuete 39-F, quote, 'The Student Body President can acquisition any room on school premesis for the purpose of conducting school business.' Principal Lewis: You can read! The school system works! (Dejectedly) I'll be back for my stuff.
American Head Charge
151 quotes
Steve: This is it. I have abso...
Steve: This is it. I have absolute power. (Over intercom) Doris, could you please send in our high school mascot? (Man dressed in a buffalo costume comes in) Welcome, buffalo. As you must've heard, I have been elected student body President. As such, I can do anything I want... and I want to ride the buffalo! (Steve jumps on mascot's back) Woo hoo hoo!! Buffalo: MOOOO!!!! (Destroys everything in the office) Steve: Yes, yes! I'm riding the buffalo! (Buffalo falls, Steve gets off, Doris comes in) Now, send in the lunch lady.
American Head Charge
151 quotes
Stan: Hilary, look out for the...
Stan: Hilary, look out for the mines! (Explosion) What did I just say? You heard me. What did I just say? Steve: You said, 'Look out for the mines.' Stan: I said, 'Look out for the mines.'
American Head Charge
151 quotes
God, please watch over the sou...
God, please watch over the soul of this dead dog and carry him up to heaven... because he sure as hell can't walk... he's dead. Amen. -Stan
American Head Charge
151 quotes
Wishes won't wash dishes...
Wishes won't wash dishes
American Head Charge
151 quotes
All's fair in love and war....
All's fair in love and war.
American Head Charge
151 quotes
Silence is golden...
Silence is golden
American Head Charge
151 quotes
There are plenty of fish in th...
There are plenty of fish in the sea
American Head Charge
151 quotes
A politician is an animal who ...
A politician is an animal who can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground
American Head Charge
151 quotes
Give a man enough rope and he'...
Give a man enough rope and he'll hang himself.
American Head Charge
151 quotes
Poets are born, not made...
Poets are born, not made
American Head Charge
151 quotes
The game is not worth the cand...
The game is not worth the candle
American Head Charge
151 quotes
If you don't have a plan for y...
If you don't have a plan for yourself, you'll be part of someone else's
American Head Charge
151 quotes
No good Indian but a dead Indi...
No good Indian but a dead Indian
American Head Charge
151 quotes
You can't have all chiefs, you...
You can't have all chiefs, you've got to have Indians too
American Head Charge
151 quotes
You don't put robbers to work ...
You don't put robbers to work in a bank
American Head Charge
151 quotes
No river can return to its sou...
No river can return to its source, yet all rivers must have a beginning
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